NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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