we made out on top of his cat.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
