so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
