so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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