yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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