You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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