On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I need to stop coming to work sober
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
