just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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