you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
