went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
