that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
