look no pants
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
