Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
accomplished twins. life is a go
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
