my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize