Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I supernannyed him into submission
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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