This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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