If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
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I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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