I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
