I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
