No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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