he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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