I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
