Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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