South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
