Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
