so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
