cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
