There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
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I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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