He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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