just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
