Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she looked like the before picture.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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