This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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