he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
