This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
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not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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