so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
