Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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