He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I love you.
Bad choice
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
