He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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