what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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