Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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