Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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