It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
