Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it was like eating out sand paper
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
