shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
