so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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