Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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