Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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