I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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