I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't deserve a penis
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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