I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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