Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I didn't notice because vodka
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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