just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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