im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
