so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize