Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
