i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
