fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
