I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
