just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
